{Straight From the Heart} *The Journey* 1/25/00
Welcome to "Straight From the Heart!"
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Today I will be sharing the beginning of a four or five part series
on one couple's experience with infertility. I will run the rest of
this series every Monday in February. I have been trying to space out
submissions by the same authors, but I feel that this series needs to
be at least once a week so that it stays fresh in our minds.
This begins with a poem that Debra Adler shared with all of us back
in November, and I reprinted below.
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Does Anyone Really Care
This poem I wrote to the Stepping Stones infertility newsletter and it
was published on the March-April 1997 edition. This is a newsletter for
infertile couples.
Does Anyone Really Care
The ache is there, does anyone really care?
The tears they fall, they fall to deaf ears,
Does anybody see our breaking heart
Or care to understand and do their part?
The ache is there, does anyone really care?
We beg and plead, and our souls we bare,
We tell them exactly what we need
But instead of helping they stand and watch us bleed.
The ache is there, does anyone really care?
If only they knew, If only they would dare
To reach out and listen or touch our hand.
Don't they see we are in sinking sand?
The ache is there, does anyone really care?
Yet I finally found one so rare,
The one who would dare to stand
To be that listening ear and lend a hand.
Will the rest dare to understand
Or learn to reach out their hand?
The ache is there, does anyone really care?
During our four year journey of infertility I conceived once. This is a
journal entry that I wrote when I kept hearing comments from people such
as...."It's not like it was a real baby or anything"; "It's not like
you have cancer and your dying"; "You can always have another baby".
While I know that these comments from people were probably not meant to
hurt, it did not minimize my pain that I was feeling. It just made me
more confused. The best thing I believe you can do when someone you
know has gone through a miscarriage and you yourself have not been
through it, is to just be there for them, let them talk and cry if they need
to. Say you will be there for them whenever they need someone and get
them out of their surroundings. So without further adieu, I will let you
into my wounded heart shortly after I miscarried.
Journal Entry May 1994
To trust, to understand and fathom the will of God. What a concept.
Can it be done? I suppose but usually not without questioning his
doings.
Does it hurt to lose a baby that is not yet seen by his Mom or Dad?
Let's answer that by understanding the process. This baby is already
surrounded by love once he or she is found out about. There is
planning, preparations and many exciting new thoughts of becoming a
parent. This baby inside you is already being talked to by Mom and
Dad. And if Mom loves to sing, it is sung to daily. Dad reads, as if
baby were already here, doing daily devotions.
So in other words this baby, although unborn has become a part of Mom
and Dad's life.
What happens when a part of your life you have been praying for, gets
taken away from you? Ripped out of your arms before you had the chance
to hold it. The dream is shattered, hopes of this child are gone.
It is a death. A death of a dream of a little child that is not longer
there.
Does that hurt have to stay? Depends if you want it to defeat you.
There is only one hope to get you through this grief. God, although
allowing this to happen, is our only strength to endure the pain.
How incomprehensible. The God who had allowed this pain in your life is
now there to comfort and pick up the pieces. I guess only God can
comprehend what he wants and for why. We just have to wait and trust in
the meantime.
So does a miscarriage hurt? Well, you answer that question for
yourself.
Debra Adler
Hunsun@ticon.net
Stay Tuned for another part in this series on Monday! And don't worry.
It has a happy ending!
Debra Adler is 31 years old and resides in the country just outside of
Afton, Wisconsin with her supportive husband Stephen (36 years old) of
eight years and her son Caleb, who is now 2 years old. Stephen has
been in trucking for the last 10 years but his deepest passion would be
to get back into flying some time in the future. Caleb is our adorable
son that is a blessing and a miracle that God has given to us after
several years of trying to conceive. His favorite hobbies are playing
ball ("baw" as he says), vacuuming the carpet, playing on his slide
outside, and playing in Mommy's spices. Debby is a busy housewife,
Mommy and Church Secretary with a full schedule. She enjoys singing,
baking, writing from her heart, doing Bible Study and scrap booking her
son's pictures. She is passionate about everything she does, especially
being a mother. One day she would like to write a book about their
infertility story and the dream that Steve and Deb would never give up
on...having a child of their own.
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REQUEST:
From: shaley@telusplanet.net (Ellie Braun-Haley)
Michael please pray for a man who does charitable work in Romania. His wife Sue
has just contacted me. Here is the note:
This morning, Ron started having pains in his chest, indigestion, and vomiting.
I took him to the hospital and within 5 minutes after arriving he suffered a
massive heart attack. He was unconscious for 10 minutes and quit breathing.
They gave him treatment and air thru a tube and thankfully, revived him. He will
be in Intensive Care for 5 days and then 2 weeks in the hospital. This afternoon,
I was in ICU and he asked me to email you all to pray for him. He is stable now,
although the heartbeat is not strong enough. They said the next 8 days will be
critical because he could have another attack. So, please pray that God will
restore his health so that he can be back with all the people he loves so
much. We bless you and thank you for all the prayers you have sent up to the
Throne for us and the people of Romania and Moldova......
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Thought For The Day:
"Smart people speak from experience. Smarter people from experience,
don't speak."
Verse for the Day:
"...he who restrains his lips is wise."
Proverbs 10:19
Kid's Thought For The day:
"Ask where things come from."
Parent's Thought For The Day
"Every Mother is like Moses. She does not enter the promised land.
She prepares a world she will not see."
Coach's Thought For The Day
"Doubters don't win. Winners don't doubt."
(Dennis Waitely)
Deep Thought For The Day:
"I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take
something for it."
_
/_/\/\ MICHAEL T. POWERS
\_\ / THUNDER27@aol.com http://members.aol.com/Thunder27/index.html
/_/ \ "For I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
\_\/\ \ Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live for the Son
\_\/ of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
"I thought of you first after my family sat down to watch the video
we gave them. They loved it, to say the least! Within thirty
seconds my mom was crying and my dad did too. They said it was
the best Christmas gift we could have given them!! You did such
a beautiful job! They were so suprised and so touched---they
really, really, really loved it. Thanks for helping to make it so
special to us all. My mom mentioned how the songs were perfect for
the video too! Thanks again!"
Kelli (RKaGe@aol.com) College Station, TX
Let me make you a video from your pictures or home movies!
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Video Imagery
http://members.aol.com/Videoimg/index.html