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{SFTH} *The Child* 8/23/01
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Today, Josie Willis shares a heartfelt story with us about
child abuse. This one touched me deeply and I know it
was not an easy one for her to write. May her personal, yet
powerful words touch all of you also...
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The Child
By Josie Willis
In the dream, I am home again, in my father's house.
The light is amber, casting shadows on the walls. The
pine floor echoes with the sound of my footsteps. The
windows, fogged over earlier, are clear now, and the sun
rises over wakening hills.
The haze has lifted, and I can make out the figure
of a little girl running down the dusty road. Her hair is
brown, tangled by the wind, her cheeks flushed with
excitement. On each side are fields with cows and
horses. She stops to brace herself against a fence, and
stretches out her upturned palm to feed a colt. It
whinnies, and accepts her offering. She smiles, happy in
the moment. The future has yet to unfold its sadness
to her. The abuse has yet to become a burden.
I feel the subtle tug of her at my heart. I feel her
in the fragile folds of my memories. Like a delicate
flower pressed between pages, her fragrance lingers,
wafting me into the past.
Inside my father's house, there was no release. I
see that now, and weep for the tortured child. The lessons
she had to learn were hard. For years, she rattled inside
me like dead seed in a shell. She was the corpse I
dragged along with me. She clung, for self-preservation,
to the illusions of her father's world. She moved as a
puppet strangled by his strings. She was blind and
deaf, handicapped by her father's power. She was
fire and ice flowing in tandem in my veins.
I stand again, in that house, watching her wither in
the shadow of his abuse, the air she breathes devoured
by his flames. I see her fear of him pulse in her gut like
astringent, drying up the core of her existence. Words,
like roots, fill up her throat, and die. Emotional wounds
produce scar tissue as ugly reminders. She is his
legacy, with nothing of her own to claim.
And now she runs towards me, her face translucent. I
deny she is part of me. I move through life, her chains
biting into my flesh. She clings to me like fairy dust.
Remember me, she whispers in unguarded moments.
In guilt, I rush to comfort her, to thaw the cold inside
her. The holes in her heart: can they be mended?
Or does my touch singe flesh of bygone days?
In my father's house, no words escaped to define the
sin. The voices of the actors were silenced by fear,
and pretense. The contamination was a virus, infecting
the inhabitants, the child a sacrifice gladly given.
I hear the child's cries in the night. I see her coil like a
snake, and strike out against the world. I watch her
run for protection, and find none. Like a ship through
stagnant ice, she navigates a treacherous current.
She has lost her way; time has betrayed her. The summer
child picking wild lilies has yet to know. Her thoughts
are pure, bound by simplicity. The anger and the pain
soon to be companions on her journey are but strangers now.
In my father's house, the windows are clear. The rain, so
soft and serene, has begun to fall. The rain inside the
child falls, too, and mingles with her tears. I am that
child, will always be that child. I lift my arms, she turns
and smiles, picks up her heels and runs into my open
embrace. She, at last, has found the truth:
Together, we can face the tyranny of the past.
Together, we can be free.
Josie Willis
josiewillis2000@yahoo.com
Write Josie and let her know what you thought of her story!
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A little bit about Josie:
Josie Willis is a full-time writer and has been
widely published in national magazines and in
nonfiction, fiction and poetry format. Her essay,
"The Writer's Song," appears in CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE
WRITER'S SOUL and is in the SFTH archives.
It deals with the subject of child abuse, one close to
her heart and drawn from her own experiences. She is
nearing completion of her book titled "Flying Past the
Moon," also about her abuse.
Josie writes:
"For me, writing is love made visible. Words written
from the heart are dreamcatchers, filtering the bad
from the good, creating magical bonds between reader
and writer...And then there is the book that just wouldn't go
away, no matter how hard I tried to run from it.
From my articles and poems have come e-mails and
letters from abuse victims thanking me for my powerful
words, words, they say, which have changed their
lives. Their praise motivates me to finish the book...for them.
I am their voice, the voice of us all, flailing against the
darkness. I am their voice--I owe it to them.
Take the time to visit Josie's website to read more
of her writing, or to share thoughts of your own at:
http://www.geocities.com/josiewillis2000/a/index.html
If you missed Josie's previous story here on SFTH, you
can read it in our archives at:
http://www.storiesfrommyheart.com/043001/
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Reader Feedback!
Yesterday's story was so true of many of our congregations. we do not go to really worship, to see and be seen and GOD is not pleased with us. great message thru this story. may GOD continue to use you for His glory,
mama fay, pastor's wife
Mopnmama@aol.com
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I absolutely loved this story by Diane! Yes, I would love the zucchini
bread recipe! Better yet, I will send the stamps so she can mail me one!
Cheers,
Maria
MCAREY@GreenwichLibrary.org
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Diane Dean White had a number of people ask her for her
Zucchini bread recipe from her story that we ran on Tuesday
called "Zucchini Summer". So here is the recipe!
ZUCCHINI BREAD RECIPE
(makes two bread loaf pans, several smaller ones, or one bundt
cake) HAVE READY:
3 Eggs
1 Cup Corn oil
2 Cups Enriched Flour (not self rising flour)
2 Cups Sugar
2 Cups Grated Zucchini (fresh)
1/4 tsp. Baking Powder
2 tsp. Soda
1 tsp. Salt
3 tsp. Cinnamon
2 tsp. Vanilla
1 Cup Chopped nuts
1/2 Cup Maraschino cherries, cut-up
(optional)goes with the green Zucchini for Christmas gifts!
Beat eggs, add sugar, oil, cherries and zucchini, mix well. Add dry ingredients, having mixed flour, salt, soda, baking powder and cinnamon together. Adding slowly to above mixture. Add vanilla and nuts last. Pour into greased pans and bake at
350' for 1 hour or until mixture separates from pan side. Enjoy!
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Thought For The Day:
"Those who do not plan for the future will have to live through
it anyway." --Len Fisher
Verse for the Day:
"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain
a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12
Kid's Thought For The Day:
"Toads aren't ugly--they're just toads."
Parent's Thought For The Day
"Heredity is something a man believes in until his son
begins acting like a delinquent."
Coach's Thought For The Day
"I never exaggerate, I just remember big."
--Chi Chi Rodriguez, professional golfer
Deep Thought For The Day:
"I think NASCAR (Car racing) would be much more exciting
if, like in a skating rink, every 15 minutes someone announced
it was time to reverse direction."
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REQUESTS:
Dear Friends and Family,
God has answered our prayers and showed them a way to save their home...Dee
is also back working full time...Thank you for your prayers and Thank You
Father for your answer...
Becky
russ@bearriver.net
*******
Good day to you all !
I would like to send an urgent prayer request out for my husband. Although he loves God, and long to be a child of God, he can't break free from being in the old habit of being a people pleaser instead of a God pleaser. Every time everything looks fine, and he is just focused on God's purpose and Destiny for us, "someone out there" crosses his path, and he just falls straight back, with the result that the problems looks worse every time he falls back. Previously when it happened, and he fell back, he used to feel guilty and he felt ashamed, but the more it happens, the less he feels ashamed, so much so, that he just does everything against God's will, and if you say something, he just goes from bad to worse to "spite" you, without any regret. I don't know how to handle this, as I am not used to such a "spite filled" life. Please pray for me in this situation as well, but most of all for my husband, as I don't even know if he knows what he's doing with his life. I feel sorry for him as well, as I know God loves him, and cares for him, the same way I do.
Thank You
Regards,
Vicky
vmoore@uskonet.com
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_
/_/\/\ MICHAEL T. POWERS
\_\ / THUNDER27@aol.com
/_/ \ "For I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
\_\/\ \ Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live for the Son
\_\/ of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
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Video Imagery (Michael's Video Production Business.)
"I thought of you first after my family sat down to watch
the video we gave them. They loved it, to say the least!
Within thirty seconds my mom was crying and my
dad did too. They said it was the best Christmas gift
we could have given them!! You did such a beautiful
job! They were so surprised and so touched--they
really, really, really loved it. Thanks for helping to
make it so special to us all. My mom mentioned how
the songs were perfect for the video too!
Thanks again!"
Kelli-- College Station, TX
Let me make you a video from your pictures or home movies!
Check out this site for Michael's video production business!
http://members.aol.com/Videoimg/index.html
AOL Users click here: Video Imagery
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