{Straight From the Heart} *Halloween Humor* 10/31/99
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After being so serious all this past week, I thought it would be a good time
to lighten up!
I start you off with my favorite Halloween joke.......
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in
fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to
get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began
hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away
and let him get some sleep. However, the bats persisted
until finally he gave in.
"OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with
hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they
went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly
milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a hungry frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat tiredly, "Because I didn't!"
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A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a
BUMP...BUMP....BUMP.....behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes
out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the
street towards him....BUMP.....BUMP.... ..BUMP..... Terrified, the man begins
to run towards his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind
him...faster....faster....BUMP. ..BUMP....BUMP....... He runs up to his door,
fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door
behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with its lid
clapping.....clappity-BUMP........clappity-BUMP......clappity-BUMP..... on
the heels of the terrified man. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man
locks himself in. His heart is pounding, his head is reeling, his breath is
coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door,
bumping and clapping towards him. The man screams and reaches for
something-anything-but all he can find is a box of cough drops!! Desperate,
he throws the cough drops at the casket......... and of course..............
Are you ready?
Are you sure you are ready??
REALLY, REALLY, READY ???????
Okay
The coffin stops!!!!!
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REQUESTS:
From: walnutree@cpol.net (Household of Evans)
I ask for prayers for my family. My wife and I have been married for 14 years
and we have always been a two income family. Last year she decided to stay home
to be with the kids (we homeschool both) and also to go back to college to
finish her degree in music. Financially we knew it would be a struggle but we
have been making it because of our faith. Now it seems time for our faith to
be tested. Our car's transmission is going out (we lost reverse) and we don't
have the extra money to get it fixed right now. This week I have learned that
my job might be in jeapordy also. So many decisions to be made and we need a
few prayers so that the right decisions are made.. Thanks.
Rick Evans
walnutree@cpol.net (Household of Evans)
From: cheetah@citynet.net (Sherri Stahlman)
Michael,
This may be an odd request. Mr grandfather who is 90 years old is in the
hospital. He has prostate and colon cancer. We know he isn't going to make
it and all he wants to do is "go on home". He is and always has been a good
christian man as well as a minister. He told my father that he has ran a
good race and fought a good fight and that he just wants to go on home. It
is not for us to know why these things happen or why God leaves people here
on this earth when they are suffering. We just have to trust God because he
knows al things. It is hard for us to let him go but we know that he would
be better off. Please pray for him that his pain would be lessened and also
for his family through this very difficult time.
In His Name,
Sherri
cheetah@citynet.net
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What's the world coming to!
Michael has his own weekly column on being a daddy!!
This week: Michael takes Caleb to his first swimming lessons!
Click on this link to go to ChildFun.com!
Daddy's View | Michael's Weekly Column
or type in the following in your browser:
http://www.childfun.com/dads/michael.shtml
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Thought For The Day:
"Every calling is great when greatly pursued."
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)
Verse for the Day:
"I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:14
Kid's Thought for the day:
"You'll have a lot more respect for a bird after you try making a nest."
Parent's Thought For The Day
"Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it."
(Harold Hulbert)
Coach's Thought For The Day
How true this is for coaches and players!!
Someone asked a famous conductor of a great symphony orchestra which instrument
he considered the most difficult to play. The conductor thought a moment, the
said, "Second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find one who
can play second fiddle with enthusiasm -- that's a problem. And if we have no
second fiddles, we have no harmony."
(Unknown)
Deep Thought For The Day:
"How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees?
And who has been dissing them anyhow?"
(Steven Wright)
_
/_/\/\ MICHAEL T. POWERS
\_\ / THUNDER27@aol.com http://members.aol.com/Thunder27/index.html
/_/ \ "For I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
\_\/\ \ Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live for the Son
\_\/ of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20