{Straight From the Heart} *The Party* 12/27/99
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The Party
My family was "poor" while I was growing up. This fact in
itself didn't bother me much because it was the only life I
knew. It wasn't until some of the kids on the school bus
began teasing us about the state of our home and the
outbuildings that I became self-conscious of our home. I
enjoyed visiting with friends at school but wouldn't invite
hem to my house for fear of further ridicule.
We lived in an old rambling farmhouse that the owners
let us have rent-free in exchange for "keeping an eye on
things." They didn't want the house, barns or farm mach-
inery vandalized. While this home had probably been
considered grand at some point in it's past, it had become
very worn-down. There were certain boards on the porch
that we avoided stepping on for fear of falling through.
There was no indoor plumbing at first, but eventually my
dad and uncle managed to put cold running water in the
kitchen, replacing the old hand pump that was perched in
the corner.
The neighbors to the west of us had a dairy farm. It so hap-
pened that they also had two daughters the same ages and
>grades as my sister and me. We spent a lot of time walking
across the back fields to visit each other during the grade
school years.
Time has a way of moving on while we're not looking. Junior
high school came and went and we all entered high school.
There were more students and more classes, and we saw
less and less of the neighbor girls. However, we shared a few
classes and a few mutual friends and were able to keep up-to-
date on current boyfriends and all the other earth-shattering
events in each others lives.
Through mutual friends is how I happened to hear about the
party. My neighbor and friend was having a skating party at
their pond. I kept waiting and hoping for an invitation. I finally
realized that I hadn't seen my friend as much for the past few
days. I couldn't help but wonder if she was avoiding me.
The weekend of the party was rapidly approaching and I'd yet
to receive an invitation. The party was to be held on a Saturday.
The day before, at school, I couldn't contain myself any longer. I
deliberately sought out the neighbor and asked as nonchalant
a way as possible how the party plans were progressing. I had
hoped that once I mentioned it, I would receive my much anticipated
invitation.
She looked me right in the eye and told me the party was postponed.
She said her dad had checked the ice that morning and didn't feel it
was frozen solid enough for safe skating. I went onto my next class
and began wondering if I would be invited once the next date was set.
The next day dawned cold, crisp and clear. I had to venture outside
in the afternoon to get more coal for the stove. While out at the
coal pile, I heard the unmistakable sounds of fun and frolic coming
from the direction of the neighbor's farm. Just to make sure my
ears hadn't deceived me, I sat down on the back step and listened
for several minutes. Those were definitely sounds of good-natured
yelling and laughing I'd heard.
I sat and cried. I kept wondering why my friend had lied to me. Why
didn't she want to associate with me anymore? What had I done to
make her dislike me? I was finally driven back inside by the cold. I
cried and pondered this situation for the rest of the day.
When we returned to school on Monday I didn't let on that I knew she'd
lied to me. However, at one point we made eye contact with each
other and she was the first to look away. I wondered then if she'd seen
the hurt in my eyes. Maybe it's my imagination or maybe it was just
coincidence, but from that day forward we had very little contact with
each other.
I became more aware of and embarrassed by my old, ramshackle
home and my second hand and home made clothes. I felt as though
I weren't "good enough" in my classmates eyes for them to associate
with me. I was in the National Honor Society; I was always one of the
first to be picked in gym class to be on a team; I was on the school
newspaper staff; I always helped with decorating or whatever needed
done. I talked to a lot of the other students while working on projects
together and I seemed to be pretty well liked by everyone. But I was
never invited to any social functions outside of school.
Was it because people judged me by my home and clothes? Or
was it because I'd begun to feel inferior and tried to keep a distance
between myself and my classmates so as not to be hurt again? To
this day I don't know for sure.
But whenever I see a small child out in public whose clothes and
appearance aren't exactly "up to par," I get tears in my eyes. The
tears are because I KNOW the hurt, humiliation and frustration this
child may suffer just because her haircut isn't of the latest style or
her clothes aren't name brand.
It's possible, however, that her classmates are the ones who are
missing out on creating some happy memories. Just maybe, her
mom makes the best homemade cookies in town. Just maybe,
her sense of humor would make her the life of the party if given a
chance. Just maybe, she would be the one true friend who would
stand beside you in a time of need, when others have abandoned
ship. Just maybe, she had a relative who died with honor defending
our country in war.
Whenever you see a child who looks a little "inferior" to her peers,
stop and think, "just maybe....."
T. Davis
Copyright 1999
Email Terri and let her know what you thought of her story!
ludwig63@yahoo.com
A little bit about Terri:
I am happily married with a 5 year old son. As a
family, we enjoy camping and fishing. We also like
to bowl. I have had the same factory job (assembly
line) for 21 years now. The most recent hobby to capture my
attention has been piecing quilts. My website is
"under construction."
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UPDATE:
From: Nawlinssk@aol.com (Stephen)
Hello Michael:
Yes, it's been a while since we last spoke.....roughly two months for that matter.
If you'll recall, I had brain surgery five weeks ago and it appears to have been
successful...moreso than what the neurosurgeon has seen with most other patients
in the past. In either case, I just wanted to stop in and say hello. Who knows?
If I'm lucky, and feeling good enough, I may even start sending email again :)
Take care,
Stephen
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Thought For The Day:
"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."
(Arnold Glasow)
Verse for the Day:
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
Proverbs 17:17
Kid's Thought For The day:
"If you have to drop it, drop it jelly-side up."
Parent's Thought For The Day
"A mother understands what a child does not say."
(Jewish Proverb)
Coach's Thought For The Day
"Correction does much, but encouragement does more. Encouragement after censure
is as the sun after the shower."
(Plato)
Deep Thought For The Day:
"My inferiority complex is not as good as yours."
_
/_/\/\ MICHAEL T. POWERS
\_\ / THUNDER27@aol.com http://members.aol.com/Thunder27/index.html
/_/ \ "For I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
\_\/\ \ Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live for the Son
\_\/ of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20