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================================================== {Straight From the Heart} *The Golden Triangle* 12/14/00 ================================================== If you enjoy this free daily email service, I encourage you to I appreciate any feedback or constructive criticism, so feel free to Just joined us and want to see all the past stories we've run? ================================================== It is with great pleasure that I finally get to introduce author Saga Stevin to all of you! I would consider it a favor if you gave Saga a warm Straight From the Heart welcome! The last time the flu bug went through the Powers' household, I got a healthy dose of parental reality. You can read the story I wrote about it at the following link: Parental Delights ================================================== The Golden Triangle: A Simple Philosophy of Dating and Relationships By Saga Stevin From Chapter 2
One of the definitions of single is: a separate unit, complete in itself. Think of yourself that way. As being complete within yourself. Relish the time you have as a single person! This is a wonderful opportunity to get to know yourself and what your heart's desire truly is. If you have a healthy insight into who you are, you don't need to find someone to complete you. You can then find someone to compliment you. This is where the saying about the sum of two parts being greater than the parts themselves comes from. "If you hold to my teaching...you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." From Chapter 4: There is a scientific, biological difference in men's brains and woman's brains. They are wired very differently. Men's brains are much more linear and logical, woman's brains are more synaptic and intuitive. One of the best descriptions was told to me by a male friend of mine. He said that a man goes from A to B to C to D. A woman goes from A to D. Now, this is not to say either one is better than the other - it is just to illustrate the difference. Women have a better capacity to look at the big picture - down the road - in the long term - that is the intuitive side. Men have a better capacity to see the details of the here and now - that is the logical side. Women are more relational, want to talk things out, emote more. Men are more practical, they want to get in there and fix things. They don't need to talk about them - just fix it. In relationships women are much more personal, whereas men are more conquest oriented. Here are some very important key truths in understanding the differences. Men need appreciation, acceptance & trust. Men need to be appreciated for all the little things they do. A healthy sense of being appreciated for being a good provider, for keeping the car running, for all the man things they do. In Isaiah 54:5 God reveals himself as "husband." He is the role model for men to follow as the head of the marriage - as God is the head of the church. God is the protector and provider of and for the church - so should man be the protector and provider of and for the family. In the bible (1 Peter 3:7) there is a reference to the wife as the "weaker vessel." This refers to the physical difference, hence the husband is there to protect them from harm. For this men deserve abundant, heartfelt appreciation. Men also need to be accepted as is. They don't need someone trying to fix them, or change them, or make them into something they are not. How many times have you heard a female say "but he has so much potential." Wrong. Acceptance as is. Potential without desire is worthless. What you see is what you get. If you don't like what you see - look elsewhere. Everyone has their quirks. Think if this (character trait) is something you could live with or not. If not - leave the guy alone. He is probably happy as he is - otherwise he would change himself. How would you like it if he were always trying to change you? No one likes forced change. We are talking basic character issues here, not things like which way the toilet paper hangs. Think of it as a part of their individual charm. Men also need to be trusted. They have to know you trust them. Especially with simple things. For instance, when driving, before you open your mouth that "this is the exit" first see if they are going to turn there. If so - great - it all worked out without your help. If not - at least wait until they have a chance to prove their decision. Men need to be given the benefit of the doubt - that is what I mean by trust. Trust them to make the right choice, do the right thing, go the right way. All of these are character traits. If it is their basic nature to do the right thing, then in their own charming way, trust it to happen. It may not be the way a woman would do it - but if the end result is good, that's what matters. As far as trust goes, this is something that has to be earned, and is crucial. If trust has been broken habitually, obviously there is a problem. Goes back to getting to know who you are dealing with. With a trustworthy man, if he does not feel he is trusted - why be there? As well as if you cannot trust your man - why are you there? To refer to my above example of how men's and women's brains work differently, after my friend gave me the example of how men need to go from A to B, ect. My first remark was "OK, so women have to learn to keep their mouth shut and just hand the man the wrench when he figures out he needs it." I was being a tad facetious - but there is a great deal of truth in that. Women need to be cared about, understood & respected. Women, on the other hand, have different needs. Women need to have a secure sense of being cared about. This is different than being cared for. To be cared about means there is someone out there who genuinely cares about her well being. Who cares how she feels and how she is doing. Someone who actually cares about her emotional needs, wants and desires. She needs to know someone she can depend on is there for her - to protect her, to guide her, to offer strong, compassionate arms to fall into when needed. This goes hand in hand with the man being the protector. Women also need to be understood. This is where things can get a bit tricky. Sometimes women just to need to vent, talk things out - they don't want the man to fix anything - they just want to be heard. This is where the man needs to put down what he is doing, give his full attention to the woman, and simply nod his head and tell her he understands. 1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands to "dwell with them (wives) with understanding, giving honor..." She may not want to go over all the possible solutions, work through the details, go from A to B to C to D - she wants to be heard. Not that men will ever totally understand women - but there has to be an honest effort in dwelling with them. This is the first step to understanding. This is the part where it is a wise man who stops what he is doing, gives her his full attention and simply says "I understand." Women also have a God given right to be respected, honored. Men need to be kind and gentle with women, as stated in 1 Peter 3. Although talking about husbands and wives, these things start in the dating process. Men, honor her as your very best friend. Listen to her and spend time with her. Cherish her and make her feel extremely important. Women deserve respect and honor - as with trust, this is something earned. The man should respect woman and treat her as a highly valued and respected person. As with the man deserving appreciation, the woman deserves respect - and both come with responsibilities to be worthy of the deserving therein. If man has no respect or honor for woman - he shouldn't be there. Same as if the woman is getting no respect or honor from the man - why would she be there? In mature healthy relationships these are keys to develop within yourself to become a person who is ready to take on a life long relationship, and be able to make better choices as to what kind of person you end up with. Be someone worthy of respect, worthy of appreciation, worthy of honor and trust. There are many differences between men and women. These should be honored and cherished. These are the reasons men and women together are better than the two individuals - they fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. To mature enough to be able to recognize and respect the differences is what will make your life together one of many challenges and accomplishments. You two will learn how to work effectively as a team in all that you do - from creating a home to raising a family to growing old together and everything in between. This is the glue that will keep the two of you together through the tough times. The mutual trust and respect. The genuine concern and compassion. It is commitment and compromise. It is a shared faith. We need to discern and appreciate these differences. Men and women think differently, respond differently, and bring different things to the table. God made us that way to create a complimentary and powerful partnership. From: The Golden Triangle: A Simple Philosophy on Dating and Relationships Saga Stevin Send Saga an email and let her know what you thought of her book! Her second book, "Be Nice! Discovering the Pearls in Life's Little Lessons" is filled with good wisdom for day-to-day living, and will be out in Feb. 2001. Her third book "Power Walk: Finding Supernatural Power in Everyday Life" will be out in the summer of 2001. Currently she is working on her fourth book. To order her book, click on the link below at Amazon.com: ================================================== Thought For The Day: "If thou thinkest twice, before thou speakest once, thou wilt speak twice the better for it." - William Penn
"He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity."
"Just keep banging until someone opens the door."
"Invest in the future; have a child and teach her well."
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not: Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
"People say that hard work never killed anybody, but on the other hand, did ==================================================== ==================================================== Video Imagery (Michael's Video Production Business.) "I thought of you first after my family sat down to watch the video we gave them. They loved it, to say the least! Within thirty seconds my mom was crying and my dad did too. They said it was the best Christmas gift we could have given them!! You did such a beautiful job! They were so surprised and so touched---they really, really, really loved it. Thanks for helping to make it so special to us all. My mom mentioned how the songs were perfect for the video too! Thanks again!" Let me make you a video from your pictures or home movies! Do you feel as if life has no meaning for you? Writer's Guidelines |
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Touching Lives - One E-mail at a Time! Author Michael T. Powers - HeartTouchers @ aol.com
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