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{Straight From the Heart}   *The Shower*  12/1/00

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Straight From the Heart

I thought it was time to stop being so serious and start doing some laughing, and I laughed out loud when I read Al Batt's story below.  Maybe it's just because I am a guy, but I think you will laugh too. 

May everyone have a great weekend and we'll "see" in your email box late Sunday night!
P.S.  Lindsey had a much better day today than driving mishaps and no alarms!


By Al Batt

A famous line from a great book reads, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  Now I know what the author meant.  I am taking a shower--the best way I have found for me to start a day.  Some people like an icy cold shower in the morning-one that will wake them up quickly.  Not me.  Some people like a very hot shower--one that eases the sleep out of the body and limbers up those sleep stiffened muscles.  Not me. I like showers just the way Goldilocks liked her porridge-just right.  Not too cold and not too hot.  Just right. While I am in a shower, I have no doubt that the day is going to be a great one.  I stride the earth like a colossus. The best ideas come to me when I am in the shower.  I should write them down, but the paper always gets too wet and soggy.  I depend on my memory to preserve them. 

I sing in the shower.  Normally a pathetic singer, I am a regular canary when I'm in the shower.  Today I am pretending to be Elvis Presley singing "It's Now Or Never" in front of thousands of adoring fans.  The louder I sing, the more they love me.  I rock.  I have a neighbor who is fond of saying, "When things get too good, look out."  He is Lutheran, he has to say things like that.

This is a morning meant for people who think like he does.  Now, normally I enjoy surprises, but what I hear is not the kind of surprise I like.  The sound I hear is the sound of the toilet flushing in the upstairs bathroom.  Suddenly, I find myself in the midst of a human predicament.  My wife, who I love very much, has for some unknown reason decided to flush the toilet in our farm home while I am taking a shower. A sane person does not flush a toilet in our home while someone is taking a shower.  Unless that someone fancies herself a music critic.  The water coming from the shower and hitting my body changes immediately upon the sound of the flushing from being just right to being scalding hot.  The dulcet tones of my song turn from a rich warble to an agonizing scream. I want to be clean, not char-broiled.  I have become well done, not far from being Joan of Arced.  I am thinking thoughts that no man should think about his wife. 

I finish my shower, whimpering having replaced my singing.  I am definitely wide-awake now, but all the fantastic ideas that I had come up with earlier-the ideas that would make the world a better place for all of us-- have been flushed from my mind.  In the time it takes to jiggle a handle, I have gone from being the King loved by all to becoming a lobster on his last day in the restaurant.  Oh, I will forgive my wife, but not right away.  After all, it is her turn to use the shower.

Al Batt

Send Al an email and let him know what you thought of his story!
Al lives on a farm in Minnesota with his wife, Gail.  Al is a writer, a newspaper columnist, a radio personality, a speaker and a storyteller. 

©Al Batt1998
RR1 Box 56A
Hartland, MN 56042

From: (Karen)
 On my way home from church choir practice tonight, I ended up having a car accident that totaled my car; the only injuries I got was getting my knee banged and skinned; it will be sore and will probably swell since I have arthritis in both knees anyway.
 Thank God that I wear my seatbelt, wasn't even going the speed limit, and my little boy wasn't with me!
 I hit a truck after making a right turn and my rear, driver side door swung open! I glanced back to see why I heard and felt wind blowing and the door was swinging closed! Even though I only glanced back for a second or so, it was just enough time for me to barely go over the yellow line and hit a truck! I didn't even have time to react! Please pray that my knee wont bother me bad and that I won't start having any other problems.

From: (Tony Herold)

Your articles are a great source of comfort to me. I am glad to be part of
your mailing list.

I have a prayer request for one of my colleague.

His name is Roger. He is having some problem in his legs. (Some kind of
growth). He has spend a lot on medicines etc, twice he was operated, the
problem stopped, and again it has surfaced. Doctors now say that the
previous operation was not correct, so they will have to operate again. He
is devastated. He is the earning member of his family, already he has a big
loan with the company, he doesn't know how to go ahead in this situation.

Please pray for God to heal him miraculously.

God Bless



From Michael:

If I may ask everyone to continue to pray for our friend Shelly, who has been dealing with a ruptured cyst.  She will be going in for a laproscopic procedure to find out what is causing the pain.  The doctor thinks he may find scar tissue from the ruptured cyst.  If that is the case the right ovary and falopian tube will be removed.  He also thinks he may find endometriosis and if that is the case he will do a hyterectomy. 
She will not find out the final outcome until she wakes up from surgery. 

Keep her in your thoughts and prayers....


Thought For The Day:

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."

Verse for the Day:

"Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind."
Romans 14:5

Kid's Thought For The Day:

"Don't save time - use it up."

Parent's Thought For The Day

"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain."
-Martin Mull

Coach's Thought For The Day

""Sports do not build character; they reveal it..."
--John Wooden

Deep Thought For The Day:

"Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in
the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.  It's too freaky!"

\_\  /  
/_/  \    "For I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
\_\/\ \   Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body I live for the Son
   \_\/   of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."  Galatians 2:20 

Video Imagery (Michael's Video Production Business.)

"I thought of you first after my family sat down to watch the video we gave them. They loved it, to say the least!  Within thirty seconds my mom was crying and my dad did too.  They said it was the best Christmas gift we could have given them!!  You did such a beautiful job!  They were so surprised and so touched---they really, really, really loved it.  Thanks for helping to make it so special to us all.  My mom mentioned how the songs were perfect for the video too!  Thanks again!"
Kelli  (    College Station, TX

Let me make you a video from your pictures or home movies!
Check out the web page for Michael's video production business!
 Video Imagery

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